game of thrones (the show) (SPOILERS)

[risbolla]

u know nothin joe snow !! good meme

[Delirious Biznasty]

i'm over this show so hard, i hope jon snow stays dead so he doesn't have to be part of this shit show

judging by the first episode, they're heavily implying that he's coming back

it's the only story that I really give a shit about so far, so I am pretty much only watching this show for the Night's Watch

[csp]

killing off the martells was so dumb and wreckless

[Delirious Biznasty]

seeing as that is currently the worst story so far in terms of acting and performance "lol yup I am defs gonna fence a fucking girl with a whip in a cramped room haha better turn my back on one of the other girls who said killing me was on her mind as well haha flawless pla-" I'd say who cares

[grue]

alright here's my summary of the episode, trying to make sense of it from a strictly show-only standpoint

DORNE

what the fuck is even Dorne. so I guess the story is that because Doran didnt do "anything" about Elya, "allowed" for Oberyn to die, and then let Myrcella go, he's a "weak man" and "weak men" cannot rule Dorne. which I guess it's D&D's attempt of pleasing the feminist crowd? there are several, several problems with this plot and it's probably the most fucked up storyline in the show. issues:

- Doran is a massive moron. how he maintained his rule for so long is baffling. Ellaria has openly defied him several times before, and got away with nothing more than a stern talking-to. he even praised her on this episode - a testament to how much of a blind fool he is. did he not notice that two sand snakes were missing? I know nothing of being a noble ruler, but god damn what the hell is going on.
- finally, the Water Gardens has some guards. Except, they literally sstand there watching their ruler get stabbed. so... when did Ellaria convince a host of (I assume) the most loyal guards that Doran should die? who cares, right
- why did they kill Trystane? what did he do?
- again, here's the underlying plot: the bastard side-chick of Oberyn Martell decided to avenge Oberyn's family by... murdering whatever was left of it. because... haha game of thrones people die for RaNdOm reasons!!
- Continuity be damned. so many continuity mistakes. holy shit what is a plot
- THAT DIALOG lmfao

King's Landing
Day 237. The Queen is still locked in a dungeon by religious fanatics. neither the king nor the queen regent do anything. noone seems to be ruling the kingdom. the first time in the show where a written treaty actually counts for something, eveen though it's probably the first time in the show when they would be justified in shitting all over convention.
- Jaime arrives with Myrcella's casket. it's a good thing they carried a royal casket on that boat.
- Bronn is nowhere to be seen which is very peculiar

Winterfell
- Roose Bolton is preparing for a war against the Lannisters. WHY? THEY ARE ALLIED TO THE LANNISTERS. WHY WOULD THE LANNISTERS ATTACK THE NORTH. SANSA? YEAH ROOSE, MAYBE JUSST MAYBE TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD THAT YOUR BASTARD SON IS RAPING SANSA FUCKING STARK WAS A BAD MOVE.
- what even is this fucking shit holy mother of god
- Sansa is running away with Theon and they're being chased by men on horses and dogs. why would you need a dog to chase someone running on foot through knee-deep snow, leaving a track that even my short-sighted ass could spot from a distance, is beyond me.
- theon and sansa wade through a frozen river to sidetrack the dogs, in a dramatic scene of sacrifice. much like sansa's every other dramatic scene of sacrifice, it does nothing to help her because the dogs find them anyway
- clothes fully dried
- then brienne out of fucking nowhere because apparently these woods are pretty much a mile wide. she already randomly found stannis next to a tree so whatever,r ight?
- so as it turns out sansa is a moron that needs to be schooled by an upstart squire on the proper words to name a knight
- also her brave journey of empowerment was all about getting raped and being saved and carried by theon, to the point that she even asks him if naming brienne her knight. i mean. brienne is her only shot, what's the fucking doubt
- so i guess any terrain gained by Dorne with the feminist crowd has been lost on every inch right here

The Wall

- so apparently Melissandre's necklace applies a charm of some sort that makes her seem young and beautiful. we're supposed to ignore the several times before when she appeared naked and without her necklace.
- why does davos care anout jon snow's death
- so apparently, according to thorne, "jon snow let the wildlings in". um. thorne. LITERALLY IT WAS YOU. i mean, yeah, in the books it was jon snow. but in the show, it was thorne. so... i guess not even d&d watch this fucking mess
which begs the question, why am i watching it

Mereen

- ~convenient rules that pop out of nowhere, how sweet do they seem~ ~suddenly you cant rape a khal's widow, how bloody convenient~ ~why did the khal believe in that story and not the one before~ ~this song doesn't rhyme fuck d&d and god fuck damn this show~
- so tyrion is ruling mereen and as I expected, we were given no fucking reason why
- the harpies tried to kill dany but they are ok with a lannister out of nowhere that was literally her advisor
- jorah and daario are on a brotip to find dany, why doesn't daario simply kill jorah, I don't get it, really I don't, why is jorah there, dany publicly announced that she didnt like him or want him around, what the fuck, daario stop feeding into this friendzone bullshit what the fucking hell, kill jorah, KILL HIM, WAHT THE FUCK
- ahh castration jokes, because the show writers are five years-old
- and buttrape jokes
- and varys has "little birds" in mereen lmfao of course he does
- remember that fleet that was such a big plot point? gone.
people are running away from the harbour because nothing is more frightening right now than a fire over water

yep, worsse than i thought, this show is such a fucking cringeworthy mess. i laughed several times and there's a sadist curiosity in me that wants to keep watching d&d digging their own grave

but then i remember they're already rich and holding several awards and it hits me that there is no fairness in this fucked up world

[Delirious Biznasty]

Its seems like he cares about snow because of the context in which he died in

Also, all that smoke bellowing out of the harbor is reason enough to get the fuck outta dodge.

I agree with everything else, but you forgot about the magically teleporting dogs

[grue]

I did miss the dogs true

I was too busy gaping at Brienne on foot killing a bunch of men on horseback to notice the dogs

Edit: more about Davos

technically Davos shouldn't care about Jon Snow because the Night's Watch business is their own. Noone interfered when they turned against Mormont, remember? and Davos put his life on the line to defend a lost cause. mind you: he's waiting for Stannis to return, we have no information that he knows his king is dead. and as a Heand of the King, he should know better than to meddle in the affairs of the NW

now he COULD say his piece. but walling himself with Jon's friend's isn't having a say in it, it's plunging head-deep in Wall politics. Davos is a smuggler, his pride in the fact that being careful kept him alive has been expressed several times in the show. even Stannis think's highly of him and goes to him for advice

so why would he do something so stupid as walling himself with the corpse of jon snow?

now hand of god will probably save him in the end, so this won't matter. but it's another way for the show to screw up, it seems to me, because so far his actions don't make sense. unless im missing ssomething, of course

(and i guess you're right about the burning ships, idk, the whole sccene was shoddy and felt out of place)

[Tempest]

daario and jorah are having their fun trip because the show-writers decided to muddle jorah's character by having him take over barristan's duties as well as his own character arc so they could kill barristan off and pay one less actor because ??????????????????????????

[Tempest]

so now jorah is juggling not only his own character arc (which has been modified in inexcusable ways to allow him to cover for other characters) but he is also taking over half of Jon Connington's storyline ("""griff""") and most of Barristan's literally WHY

[grue]

dont forget we're supposed to feel compassion for a friendzoned creep

i think d&d are projecting

[Tempest]

yeah any time they lump sum more than one character into the same to make game of thrones less "confusing" to the poor show viewers they just ruin all involved.

in the books they give us an actual reason to feel bad for jorah but it's not compassion it's complete pity

[Delirious Biznasty]

I did miss the dogs true

I was too busy gaping at Brienne on foot killing a bunch of men on horseback to notice the dogs

Edit: more about Davos

technically Davos shouldn't care about Jon Snow because the Night's Watch business is their own. Noone interfered when they turned against Mormont, remember? and Davos put his life on the line to defend a lost cause. mind you: he's waiting for Stannis to return, we have no information that he knows his king is dead. and as a Heand of the King, he should know better than to meddle in the affairs of the NW

now he COULD say his piece. but walling himself with Jon's friend's isn't having a say in it, it's plunging head-deep in Wall politics. Davos is a smuggler, his pride in the fact that being careful kept him alive has been expressed several times in the show. even Stannis think's highly of him and goes to him for advice

so why would he do something so stupid as walling himself with the corpse of jon snow?

now hand of god will probably save him in the end, so this won't matter. but it's another way for the show to screw up, it seems to me, because so far his actions don't make sense. unless im missing ssomething, of course

(and i guess you're right about the burning ships, idk, the whole sccene was shoddy and felt out of place)

As someone who cares as history as much as you daniel, I am surprised you still give a shit about the fighting that takes place in the show

[grue]

you mean notorious warlords don't charge against a high-walled fortress in the middle of the snow with a few hundred men scattered on foot?

[grue]

war... never changes...

[Delirious Biznasty]

that is the only time where formations looked like formation. I guarentee though, that if we didn't get a cutaway, we would have seen those ranks break instantly and just devolve to one on one fighting

also, an entire army of cavalry?

if this WAS trying to portray actually fighting, they should understand what cavalry is used for

but whatever I don't fucking care, they do this shit in practically every fucking middle ages style shows and movies

the worst part, the one thing that makes me the MOST frustrated, is when soldiers on horseback go up to someone and then proceed to fucking STOP to start fighting them

ON HORSEBACK

ARE YOU FUCKING TUGGIN ON MY FUCKIN BALLS HERE HOLLYWOOD? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?